Thoughts from RevJ

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Personal Birthing Experience

Although I have had 7 verified pregnancies, I have not birthed any babies. I had many years of sorrow, pain, and anguish trying to conceive and bare a child. While reading our text by Berger (2009), many of those days came fresh into my thinking. I particularly remember 2 of those pregnancies where I heard the heart beats of the babies. It was amazing that no one could tell from looking at me that I was pregnant (except my ex-husband, even though I was rather skinny those days), yet there was a small human being growing inside of me. My heart ached when I knew that I was losing those babies. The doctors still don't know why I couldn't carry to term. This is application of the multi-directional characteristic of child development. Nature first determines whether the child will survive and develop, if there are no outside negative influences. I think of all those unborn children now and then. But I am thankful to GOD there are 8 young people that are around the country who claim me as Mom and 3 who only know me as GMa. :-D

3 comments:

Early ChildhoodJanuary 8, 2011 at 5:52 PM
Hello
Your post was very interest and sad also but it is encouraging to know that other young people around the world consider you as a mother. Being called mom is a reward feeling in itself.
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Talae McCrayJanuary 9, 2011 at 5:15 PM
Hello,

When I read the comments in your post, I was inspired because you are a mother to other children aroung the world. I am actually gain birth, but I am a mother to my neices. I am thankful for that.
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revjaymeJanuary 15, 2011 at 10:59 PM
Thanks Cheryl and Talae.
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RELATIONSHIP REFLECTION

John Donne (1572-1631) said '...no man is an island...'. Human beings require relationships as we matriculate through life. However significant to us, we need other beings. Even if one went out and lived from the elements around no other humans, that individual would need some other beings to live. Further more, we are born because people came together and when we pass on someone will handle our remains and effects. Relationships of every kind (family, social, professional, religious, romantic) require efforts and maintence from the parties involved.

Some Personal Relationships

I live in a (penthouse type) apartment with a friend of mine I became acquainted with at church. After a painful divorce and left with large mortgage payments, I asked this 'nice' lady from church if she wanted a roommate. She had gone on a weekend trip and while gone her apartment was broken into and everything taken or destroyed (even her clothes). When I sold the house, we continued to be roommates. It has been 11 years now. Although we spend our social time with a seperate group of friends, we are still very close. This relationship has grown as we continue to help each other in any way we can. Denise would give me the shirt off of her back if asked. I would have to think about it if the tables were turned. :-D

I have a best friend named Tonya. She knows me better than my own blood sisters and brothers. We became very close friends after she lost her newborn son as she and her husband held him together. Because of our friendship many have tried to explain it by giving us nicknames such as, Mary and Martha, Paul and Silas, Jonathon and David. The one that stuck is Salt and Pepper. Someone said we bring spice to every situation. Guess who is salt. We minister together. We cry together. We travel together. I have sat in the hospital as she battled illness. She has verbally fought for me. We council each other. We pray for each other. We even feel when the other one is upset or sick. Our friendship is very rare. One author called a friendship like ours, soul-friends. Because of our friendship, we both have grown as a result of our friendship spiritually, emotionally, and cognitively. We even have clothes alike that we bought without the presence of each other. I couldn't make this up.

Both of these relationships are important to me and can be challenging at times. As a friend to both, sometimes I must overlook my thoughts or feelings on an idea or event in order to make the other comfortable or happy. For instance, at our national church conventions I want to talk to everyone I can on the first day. Tonya feels she has all week to see people so she goes to the room while we are on a recess. Every year we fight over which we are doing, meeting and greeting or going to the room. I recently learned that something from her childhood was the reason she didn't like meeting and greeting. I wouldn't have known this without communicating or observing my friend.

Denise and I are partners financially because we split the bills or take responsibilty of certain bills. This must be done through collaboration. Tonya and I are partners financially, spiritually, and professionally. Since becoming friends we have incorporated 2 nonprofit companies, started a women's annual conference, become Bible college professors and board members, as well as an international ministering team.

Learning to compromise in order to accomplish tasks with my friends has given me experience when working with my customers as an administrater of a day care. However, the knowledge I have aquired through these relationships will also give me experience as an EC professional working with children and their parents. As with the friendships when I had to disgard my desires in order to help them, I have the understanding that I must understand that my desires are not always the best as I collaborate with others.